8:10 P.M.

"The Right Place" by Eddi Reader plays as you cross the ballroom to join Little Red Riding Hood by the fireplace.

Suddenly, a Big Bad Wolf appears at Red's side.  Curses, you think.  Foiled again.

After a brief conversation, however, the Big Bad Wolf moves away from Red and exits through a pair of French doors to the east.  Once again, the coast is clear.

Okay, you think.  Maybe Little Red Riding Hood came to this party with the Big Bad Wolf -- but she's leaving with me.

You go over to Red and offer her one of the beers you've got stashed in your jacket pocket.  She graciously accepts, introducing herself as Amanda Schmidt-Ashcroft.  The second she flashes her pearly whites, you feel yourself falling helplessly (and drunkenly) in love with her.

Just then, a motorcycle roars onto the dance floor from the entry hall to the west.  When the biker pulls off his helmet, you recognize him as Icy Hot, the notorious rap star.

A guest in a slinky Catwoman outfit rushes over and throws her arms around the rapper, squealing, "Icy!  You made it!"

Wellman marches right up to the rap star and snarls, "This is a private affair..."

"...and Icy is my guest, Daddy,"  the Catwoman pouts, flashing a huge diamond ring.  "We're getting married."

"Bernadette!"  Wellman sputters, furious.  "You can't be serious!"

"Guess I better get used to callin' you 'Pops,'" Icy says, smiling at Wellman as Bernadette leads him west, towards the entry hall.

Smythe the butler passes the young couple as he enters the ballroom to retrieve the motorcycle.  The elderly servant wheels the bike to the entry hall, then you hear a loud crash.

Brother Puris, Brother Sputum, the Sexy Vampire and a man dressed like a Sheik all rush to the front hall to investigate.  Brother Doofus and Brother Nitrous remain at the bar, swilling drinks.

To continue hitting on Amanda, click here.

To switch to Brother Puris, click here.

To switch to Brother Sputum, click here.

To switch to Brother Doofus, click here.

To switch to Brother Nitrous, click here.