"The End" by the Doors continues to play from the ballroom.
You scream, "I demand to see my lawyer!" Nobody pays any attention.
Brother Doofus looks around nervously, apparently in need of a drink. Brother Sputum and Brother Vadge stand staring off into space. Brother Puris and the Big Bad Wolf are whispering to each other.
Across the room, you hear Cleopatra ask the Sexy Vampire what's wrong.
The Sexy Vampire sobs, "I loved Veronica! What am I going to do? What am I going to do without her?"
You see Red Sonja go over and hit on the Sexy Vampire, which only inspires more sobbing.
Amanda exchanges a few words with Brother Foooz, then goes over and puts her arm around the Big Bad Wolf.
Just then, there is a loud crash from the end of the driveway, followed by a flash of lightning and a burst of thunder.
The music from the ballroom stops abruptly and Sgt. Duffy strides into the room.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to detain you, but as of now you are all suspects in a series of crimes committed tonight at Ashcroft Manor. I don't know how many of you know each other, but for the sake of convenience, let me make some introductions...
"...the man in the Pirate Costume is Veronica Ashcroft's
husband, Mike Wellman.
...the woman in the Sexy Vampire costume is his personal assistant, Alicia Ford.
...the woman in the Cat Woman costume is Mike's daughter from a previous marriage, Bernadette Wellman.
...the rap star is Bernadette's boyfriend, Icy Hot.
...the man in the Big Bad Wolf costume is Veronica's brother, Richard Ashcroft.
...the woman in the Little Red Riding Hood costume is his wife, Amanda Schmidt Ashcroft
...the Sheik is Veronica's uncle, Jack Marston.
...the man dressed like Frankenstein's monster is Governor Asher.
...the man in the Viking outfit is the Ashcrofts' gardener, Gus.
...the woman in the Red Sonja outfit is a college student named Avengelyne.
...the woman dressed like Cleopatra is a college student named Sally Barnes.
...the man dressed in slime is a frat boy named Brother Doofus.
...the man dressed like a James Bond villain is a frat boy named Brother Sputum.
...the man dressed like an Indian Chief is a frat boy named Brother Puris.
...the man dressed like a Marine is a frat boy named Brother Foooz.
...the man dressed entirely in meat is a frat boy named Brother Vadge.
...the man dressed like the leather man from the Village People is a frat boy named Brother Nitrous.
"Quite frankly, I don't know who the guy in the Grim Reaper suit is.
"Here are the facts that have been established. Earlier tonight, we received an anonymous tip saying that somebody's life was in danger, and that an undercover cop should be sent to the party.
"Since then, Veronica Ashcroft, Chip Ashcroft and Helen Asher have all been killed. In addition, Smythe the butler has disappeared and an unidentified female corpse has been discovered in the furnace, burned beyond recognition.
"You have been detained to help me answer the following questions...
1. Why were each
of these people killed, and by whom?
2. Who is the body in the furnace?
3. Who phoned in the anonymous tip and why?
4. Who is the Grim Reaper?
5. Where is Smythe?"
A tense silence settles over the room.