BAIT SHOP REVIEWS

By and for chieves

Contents

2000 ROUND-UP

CONCERTS

MOVIES

MOVIE TRAILERS

RECORDS

T.V.

Y2K ROUND UP

Well, it was only to be expected, I reckon (after the feast of great movies last year)  that 2001 would bring famine to the multiplexes.  At least a couple of my top-10s wouldn't have scored higher than an honorable mention in a decent movie year...but, nevertheless, here are my picks for the Best (and the Worst) of Y2K!

2000 TOP TEN:  MOVIES

1.    ALMOST FAMOUS:  Some people knock this movie for viewing the seventies through rose-colored granny glasses, but, hey, it IS told from the point-of-view of a very, very happy 15 year old kid who not only gets to write for Rolling Stone, but also loses his virginity to a trio of sexy groupies!  For me, the hero's starry-eyed wonder was the whole point:  it's a rare movie that can honestly make me remember how exciting, innocent and mysterious life (and, for that matter, show biz) seemed before I became such a cranky old man.  Plus, I've always gotta give props to a Hollywood movie made with such heartfelt emotion, humanity and attention to detail.  All that and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs (maybe one of my favorite movie characters of all time), a good role for Fairuza Balk (for a change), that cool-ass stewardess outfit worn by Zooey Deschanel and the luminescent Kate Hudson as the embodiment of the Great Unattainable.  (Also, it gave me a nice, optimistic catchphrase for 2001:  "It's all happening!")

2.   CHUCK & BUCK:  Funny, touching, creepy and unnerving is a rare combination of elements to find in one movie, but that's what we're talking about, here.  The characters (especially the socially-retarded, maturity-impaired "Buck" and the tough old broad he befriends at a children's theater) are just great, and there's not a false note in the whole story.  Best of all, I had NO idea what the ending was going to be (or even what KIND of ending to expect)...and just TRY to get that damn "Oodily-oodily-oodily" song out of your head after the film's over (trust me, you'll know the one I mean).

3.  STATE AND MAIN:  Although David Mamet is one of my favorite writers, his movie direction is usually stiff, clunky, and lifeless...except, I guess, when he's got an ensemble cast this good and a script this funny.  As the writer and director, respectively, of a Hollywood production that invades an impossibly quaint New England town, William H. Macy and the ubiquitous Phillip Seymour Hoffman have a great time playing normal people for a change, and Alec Baldwin (as a jerky movie star) gets props for providing my SECOND favorite catch-phrase for 2001 involving the root-word "happen" (you'll know it when you hear it).  I dunno how funny all the show biz in-jokes will be for non-show-biz-obssessed types...but, hoo-boy, for us addicts it's a frickin' hoot.

4.   CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON:  You'll laugh!  You'll cry!  You'll wish you knew karate...although the fight scenes in this movie are closer to ballet (or fireworks) than, say, even the most kinetic Jackie Chan fight scenes.  At first, I worried I was going to have to sit through a lot of subtitled dramatic exposition to get to the "good stuff," but eventually I realized the yearning, mythical romantic drama WAS the good stuff, and the fight scenes were just gravy.

5.   WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?  For some reason, nearly every critic in America felt the need to beat this funny, touching allegory to a bloody pulp.  Sure, I can understand a knee-jerk reaction against a movie starring a t.v. comic as an alien with a buzzing penis who comes to Earth through an airplane toilet looking for sex.  Sounds like some horrible Saturday Night Live vehicle, right?  But it's not...for one thing, it's actually FUNNY, and (more important) it somehow captures the tricky landscape of romantic relationships with a clarity missing from any number of "respectable" films on the subject.  And the main reason is Annette Bening, whose sparkling performance as the tough but vulnerable alcoholic love interest is equal to (and maybe even BETTER than) her celebrated work in American Beauty.  No, really...I'm SERIOUS!

6.   THE SPECIALS:  This came out for about five minutes in L.A., and I only saw it because the New Times and the L.A. Weekly raved about it.  They were both right for a change, and so now I'm spreading the love in case you ever spot this in a video store.  The premise is similar to Mystery Men - i.e., an ensemble comedy about a team of low-rent superheroes - but The Specials is less a genre parody than a look at the group dynamics of co-workers who just HAPPEN to be superheroes (although for most of the movie, they could just as easily be doctors, musicians or real estate salesmen).  REAL "indie" filmmaking at its best, the movie features sharp, funny dialogue and performances that put most 2000 Hollywood product to shame.

7.   CHICKEN RUN:  It's a weird year when some of the most sophisticated characters and dialogue are in movies about aliens, superheroes and dancing chickens, but I'll take the excitement, suspense and (British) patriotism of this utterly charming children's movie over the sadistic violence of The Patriot, the overblown, hollow spectacle of Gladiator or the clunky by-the-numbers predictability of U-571 any day of the week.

8.   ERIN BROCKOVICH:  I love movies that break new ground, take my breath away and make me look at the world in a whole new way...but, barring that, I'll settle for Julia Roberts' cleavage.  No, wait...what I meant to say was that in a year filled with so much lazy studio crap, I'll always root for something like Erin Brockovich, the kind of solid, well-built mainstream product Hollywood is SUPPOSED to be making (what with all the frickin' money they get paid, fer chrissake!).  Plus, Albert Finney is just flat-out great by any yardstick, and it's always nice to see "the little people" stick it to "the Man" (in Fantasyland, at least).

9.   X-MEN:  Yep, more superheroes.  Oh, sure, I could've picked something classier to put on my list here, like Croupier or Quills, or I could've picked something more "indie" like High Fidelity or Groove or Ghost Dog or The Tao of Steve or The Virgin Suicides or The Way of the Gun...but all those movies wind up on the honorable mention list instead of the #9 spot because...well, they were all plenty enjoyable -- but nothing more -- and none of them wound up being top-to-bottom, full-throttle "gotta-see-it-opening-night" movie EVENTS.  X-Men earns its spot if only because it didn't disappoint me (in a year of disappointments), because it was a lot more clever than it needed to be, and because it briefly made me feel like I was 12 again (in the good, uncynical moviegoing way).  That's good enough to make the list in 2000, I reckon.

10. BRING IT ON:  Again, I suppose this spot could easily have gone to one of the (arguably more deserving) movies in the Honorable Mention section, but, come on...like I'm gonna say no to fabulous babes in cheerleader uniforms!  And, to be honest, this movie WAS perfect in its own cheerfully goofy way, like, I dunno, The Sanford & Son theme or a Cherry Garcia bar.  As with, say, The Virgin Suicides or Croupier or Ghost Dog or Groove - it's not really ABOUT anything, and exists mainly as a mood piece - and I sure left the theater in a GOOD mood.  Also, as enjoyable as High Fidelity was, I can't really remember anything in it as vividly as, say, the really funny opening dream sequence cheer in Bring It On...so what the hell.  It's my number 10 film.  It's that kind of year.

2000 HONORABLE MENTION:  The Virgin Suicides, Ghost Dog, Groove, Road Trip, Saving Grace, Croupier, High Fidelity, The Way of the Gun, Best in Show, Charlie's Angels, Quills, Billy Elliot, Traffic, Time Code, The Tao of Steve, Dr. T & The Women, Shadow of the Vampire, 50% of The Perfect Storm

WILD CARD:  O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?  - The biggest challenger for a spot on my 2000 top-10 is this latest Coen Brothers film, which I won't get to see until 2001.  I've heard from plenty of people who HATED it, but, heck, I loved The Hudsucker Proxy (which, until now, was the most reviled Coen Brothers movie), so there's no telling what I'll think of this baby.

WORST MOVIES OF 2000

WORST MOVIE I SAW:  REINDEER GAMES.  Oh, sure, Requiem for a Dream and Blair Witch 2 were both awful in their respective ways (see below), but at least they were TRYING to do something, whereas this one infuriated me for being so aggressively lazy and mediocre in every way, a perfect representation of everything that was wrong with the 2000 movie year.

WORST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE:  THE FAMILY MAN.  There were plenty of awful movies I DIDN'T see this year (Hanging Up, Pay It Forward...egad), but even the commercials for this one make me want to throw up.  Gee, what a dilemma...to be super-rich and bang a different super-model every night or be utterly adored by a gorgeous wife and cute kids in a gigantic upper-middle-class home?  Nice to see Hollywood tackling the tough issues.

MOST OVERRATED FILM OF THE YEAR:  REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, or Trainspotting for Dummies, as I like to call it.  So, okay, the rave reviews are for...what, exactly?  The daring, controversial idea that...gasp...drug addiction is bad?  The hokey, sub-MTV visuals?  The cartoonish, one-dimensional characters?  The sneering condescension towards poor, sad, lonely people?  Oh, I know, it must be the achingly self-conscious, utterly humorless pretension!  I mean what is the point of this exercise in grim hopelessness, exactly?  The characters are just as pathetic (and DULL!) when they're sober as when they're fucked-up (they never even seem to get any pleasure out of their drugs of choice) and there's no solution or alternative to all their misery...it's like the art film equivalent of a Friday the 13th movie:  you meet some paper-thin characters with one trait each (one's sulky, one's pouty, one's black and one wants to fit into an old red dress) and then wait for them to get knocked off, since it's the only interesting thing that's likely to happen.  (And, excuse me, but wouldn't a trained medical doctor dealing with a pill-addicted middle-aged woman try, I dunno, placing her into a 12-step program or something before zapping 50,000 volts into her frontal lobe?  Ooh...but that wouldn't be EDGY!)

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT:   BLAIR WITCH 2:  ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.  I'm not ashamed to say The Blair Witch Project scared the bejesus outta me.  Maybe I'm just overly paranoid and excitable, but I literally couldn't walk down a certain dark, tree-lined street one night after seeing it (and, yes, I felt stupid about it, but logic and self-aware irony are no defense against a sudden, drastic case of the creeps).  So I was looking forward to the big budget, 35mm sequel, and for the first five minutes I thought it was gonna be great...but halfway through, I realized BW2 was the most jaw-droppingly awful, amateurish crock of shit this side of Battlefield Earth (a gem of Hollywood craftsmanship by comparison).  Making it worse, as has been noted elsewhere by the esteemed Senator Von Doviak, is the fact that the director, who defended kids accused of murder mainly 'cuz they dressed weird (in the documentary Paradise Lost), here condones the very same "weird-looking-people-must-be-killers" attitude he slammed in his earlier, far superior outing.  BW2 is utterly repulsive, shrill and terrible in every way.

WORST EXPERIENCE:  DANCER IN THE DARK.  The end of this movie had a scene so excruciatingly painful to watch that I felt like I'd been punched in the ribcage, and I was furious afterwards.  Which is not to say it's a bad movie, exactly.  Which is not to say it's a good movie, either.  I have to give a certain amount of respect to a film that produces such a visceral reaction in me - but, then again, I had a similar reaction to the infamous bootleg videotape of a politician shooting himself in the head at a press conference.  Like somebody said once, it's easy to get a reaction out of an audience:  just strangle a puppy.  But that don't necessarily make it art.

COMEDY PHRASE OF THE YEAR:  "Ass to ass!  Ass to ass!"  -- Requiem for a Dream

MOST EMBARRASSING MOVIE LINE:  "You the man now, dog!" (or whatever) -- said by the embarrassingly white Sean Connery to some embarrassed-looking black kid in the ad for Finding Forrester.

2000 T.V. TOP TEN

1.   Survivor
2.   Survivor
3.   Survivor
4.   Survivor
5.   Survivor
6.   Survivor
7.   Survivor
8.   Survivor
9.   Survivor
10. The Sopranos (Big Pussy and Nancy Marchand, R.I.P.!)

THEATER

BEST PLAY OF THE YEAR:  Not that I saw much theater in 2000, but SIDE MAN (with Edie Falco, a.k.a. Tony Soprano's wife), the story of a hepcat fifties trumpet player, the wife he drives insane and the kid who grows up in the war zone between them, is hands down one of the best productions I've ever seen on stage OR screen.  Funny, harrowing and deeply moving.

MUSIC

Sadly, I seem to buy less music the older I get (or maybe there's just less good music out there nowadays), but the following CDs (not necessarily 2000 releases) got heavy rotation in my own personal radio station this year:

MOBY, Play
P.J. HARVEY, Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
AIMEE MANN, Bachelor #2 (or the Last Remains of the Dodo)
U2, All That You Can't Leave Behind
ALMOST FAMOUS (Soundtrack)
GROOVE (Soundtrack)
and, of course,
SOCKBOX!

BOOKS OF THE YEAR (Again, not necessarily released this year, but all worth checking out):

THE GIANT'S HOUSE:  A beautifully written story about the relationship between a spinster librarian and a thoughtful young man who grows to be a freakish giant in fifties-era Cape Cod.  It sounds strange, but it's actually a wry, heartfelt love story.  Kudos to John and Jana for bringing it to my attention.  Highly recommended!

SURVIVOR:  Loved the crew's-eye perspective!

BLACK MASS:  Horrible but fascinating true-life story of the F.B.I.'s corrupt relationship with former Boston crime honcho Whitey Bulger.

WITH NAILS:  Very funny show biz ruminations by British actor/gadabout Richard E. Grant.

HIGH FIDELITY:  I liked the book better than the movie (except for the ending, for reasons too bitter to go into right now).

PREACHER:  The first graphic novel series I've been hooked on since, oh, say the early nineties.  Lots of sex, gore and blashphemy, and God makes frequent guest appearances.

THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO (WITH COCKTAILS AT PETROSSIAN FOLLOWING):  For those (like myself and, um, well, I don't know anyone else) who couldn't get enough of the original Whit Stillman movie.

PSYCHOTIC REACTIONS AND CARBURETOR DUNG:  Thanks to Almost Famous, I finally got around to reading this, and, yes, that rascally Lester Bangs fellah is pretty durn lovable.

KEYS TO THE KINGDOM:  All kinds of Michael Eisner-related show biz skullduggery, for them what like that kind of thing.

Anyway, here's wishing you all a Happy New Year (and better movies in 2001)!

Back to top

CONCERTS

COMBUSTIBLE EDISON
 
 

Saw Combustible Edison on Friday night. I don't know, the thrill was gone, even though they were wearing cool silvery moon suits. The music was fine, but the club was hot and packed and there was no dance floor of any sort. This was the Electric Lounge, which is well behind enemy lines, so I guess I should have expected it.

KISS
 
 

Fuckin' KISS fuckin' ruled the Great Western Forum last night, and will continue to rule L.A. all weekend. What can I say? Our heads were blown clear off! Gene flew above the stage to the rafters and did some awesome "God of Thunder" song, after spewing blood during his bass solo. Ace's guitar went up in smoke from his hot licks, then drifted away like magic! Paul Stanley gave himself a spanking, captured in close-up on the diamond-vision screens. And Peter Criss melted our hearts with a lighter-inducing encore of "Beth." Other highlights: many metal-heads singing along to "Love Gun," lots of giant flames, bewildered six year old children in front of us (I think they were frightened), plus a bitchin' drum solo and cold frosty beer! 

 

KISS
 
 

>...would you agree that KISS FUCKIN'

>RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD??????
 
 

Sweet Christ! Indescribable! KISS are Gods!

Ya know, they comin' back to Iiiiirviiiiine in October! If you're going to be in the area, you should go! KISS is an experience you should have in your lifetime. It was the funnest show ever!

SEX PISTOLS
 
 

The Sex Pistols concert was much more low budget, as was expected. They were great, too. As soon as John Lydon came onstage he was pelted with a barrage of cups and crap. "Don't throw your fucking shit at me!" he yelled. "In case you haven't noticed over the years. I am not the enemy!" People still threw shit at him, though. 
 
 

Now I don't need to go to another concert for a year and a half!


 
 
  Back to top

MOVIES

2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY
 
 

2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY: One of these intertwining stories in L.A., kind of like Short Cuts, but without being good. James Spader was okay as a creepy villain. A lot of schtick - you know, Danny Aiello schtick, Eric Stoltz schtick, faggy British guy schtick. A decent catfight between Teri Hatcher and this blonde Viking chick. A completely pointless Jeff Daniels subplot.

AMERICAN BUFFALO
 
 

AMERICAN BUFFALO - Never quite makes the jump from "play" to "movie", but the actors are good with the snappy Mamet dialogue, even though Dustin Hoffman is, of course, a bit too "Ratso".

BARB WIRE
 
 

Saw Barb Wire this afternoon. Not a line that wasn't a cliche, not a plot element that was believable, one-note performance by Pammy... I loved it! The title sequence was the best, so don't be late when you see it. Pammy rules.

The real problem with Barb Wire was that Pamela Anderson seems like such a nice, sweet, dumb girl that you just can't believe she's capable of the emotions she's supposed to be depicting. When she gives her no-nonsense, tough, cold-hearted bitch steely stare, you wanna give her a hug and say "Good job, Pamela!" since you know she'd been practicing in the mirror in her dressing room for a half hour before the take.

BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM
 
 

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - Easier to do a Superhero movie when it's animated! I love the animated Batman because it uses stuff from every Batman and creates this unique mixed-technology time period.

BIG NIGHT
 
 

The Big Italian Meal is, as it turns out, an exceptionally delightful movie. I give it my highest recommendation. It will make you feel good, and also make you feel like having a big Italian meal. Perhaps with lots of cheese. 

BOUND
 
 

How come those guys at the L.A. Weekly gave this flick a bad review?

BRAIN CANDY
 
 

Brain Candy - an amusing, albeit not hilarious, film.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
 
 

Worst comic adaptation: Captain America (Stinker!)

COURAGE UNDER FIRE
 
 

10% goofy.

The other 90 was pretty good, but I thought at times Denzel was trying to do a Nik Cage Leaving Las Vegas type thing with his rather contrived alcohol abuse. 

ESCAPE FROM L.A.
 
 

Yeow!

FAN, THE
 
 

This movie is about a white basket case (played by Robert De Niro) who isn't very good at selling knives and takes it out on a black baseball player (played by Wesley Snipes) by giving him a bunch of shit. De Niro's performance is a rehash of other De Niro performances and indicates De Niro is continuing his slump of hardly original performances. I suggest kidnapping De Niro's daughter and holding her hostage until De Niro gets nominated for another Oscar.

FRIGHTENERS, THE
 
 

This movie is the biggest piece of shit of the summer so far.

FRIGHTENERS, THE
 
 

I disagree. 

I thought the movie was an entertaining romp. It was lightweight, certainly, but just fun and much better than TWISTER or INDEPENDENCE DAY (one of my picks for worst movie of the year). 

FRIGHTENERS, THE
 
 

I can see we have a mixed consensus here. But I do have to tell you that I found the frightening stuff on the bottom of my shoe in the theatre more interesting than that movie. 

FRIGHTENERS, THE
 
 

Me, I didn't think it was so bad, The Frightenings. Not frightening, certainly, but it had some of the goofy entertainment and also the ghosties as mentioned.

HATE
 
 

The Youths On Heroin Who See The Trains Movie hasn't opened here yet. We saw the French flim about the disenfranchised youth called Hate (not to be confused with the comic book about the disenfranchised youth), and that I didn't care so much for. I'm guessing/hoping the Heroin Spotting Train Movie will be better.

ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU, THE
 
 

Val Kilmer plays Marlon Brando, a big fat man who lives on an island in the middle of nowhere and has a bunch of fucked-up children. There's this little weird guy. Kind of a mess as far as story goes, but a good kind of mess. Plenty of bizarre stuff to look at. 

ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU, THE
 
 

Saw the film in question this afternoon. What a hoot! People were guffawing at those shots of Brando from behind. What's the deal with the funny little man? He sure was little. My favorite part was when he and big fat Marlon were playing the pianos. 

JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH
 
 

James and the Giant Cooch - a delightful, albeit short, movie. 

KANSAS CITY
 
 

Y'all can miss this one. There's just nothing going on. In addition to a funny voice, this time Jennifer Jason Leigh has funny teeth. Harry Belafonte gives endless monologues about life in his raspy voice. Lots of jazz filler. Better than Pret-a-Porter, I guess, but not one of Mr. Altman's finer works.
 
 

- Cap'n Crankypants

LAST MAN STANDING
 
 

LAST MAN STANDING: I yawned many, many times. Endless shootouts. Exactly like the trailer but much much longer. Bruce Willis voice-over narration. Walter Hill "hardboiled" dialogue. Hats. 

LAST SUPPER, THE
 
 

You probably weren't, but don't see The Last Supper. It is schwiggedy-schwag.

LOW LIFE, THE
 
 

So you should see this movie The Low Life if you should get the opportunity, as it is one of the most excellent Gen X movies, both hilarious and harrowing. But I should warn you of one scene that may cause consternation. Rory Cochrane moves to L.A. and gets a crappy temp job, and his supervisor patiently explains how to separate the carbon copies from the credit card slips ("You see?...We put these in this pile here...now you try"). Well, it's not quite that verbatim, but did cause a little shiver in me. On the other hand, no one in the movie turns into a woman or oozes any black goo.

MONSTER ZERO
 
 

Man, I love that movie... Did you know that the blond-haired, blue-eyed American lead, Nick Adams, killed himself after that movie figuring it was the end of his career? Damn...he GOT the new wave alien babe. What more do you want?

MULHOLLAND FALLS
 
 

If you went to see that Hat movie, you should have been forced to pay sixteen dollars, at least. Well, wait a minute. That has Jennifer Connally, right? Okay, you're absolved. But four fat guys in hats throwing people off cliffs...that's no way to expend celluloid.

PHANTOM, THE
 
 

I never feel like I get my point across.

I just wanted to say that when I see a movie, I simply judge it by the genre it is in. If I get what I want out of that genre, then I'll enjoy it. (That actually applies to most entertainment...comic books, tv, etc.)

That is also why I'll be very forgiving with a movie like The Phantom and then get very critical on something else, even if it was a better movie. Some scenes are passable in one kind of movie and unforgivable in another kind of movie.

I am also harsh on sequels because I like continuity. If you say so and so did this, it MUST hold true in the sequel or have a very convincing reason why it changed.

I love the genre of 30's pulp action heroes and when I see a movie with them, I want them to do what I expect 

Did you notice the Phantom only killed two people in that whole movie? He shot the weapons out of the hands of everyone else or knocked them unconscious.

If I went to see a movie based on a modern hero, though, I would not hold that hero to the 30's mentality nor would I judge it against such a mentality because 30's Superheroes and Modern Superheroes are two different genres.

Well, I don't know if I needed to write this, but I feel better writing it because I feel I got the last few bits of that conversation out (and it just would have gnawed at me if I didn't say it)

PUNISHER, THE
 
 

Worst comic adaptation: Captain America (Stinker!)

Runner up: The Punisher (Didn't even give him the costume)

ROCKETEER, THE
 
 

Rocketeer - Couldn't be better. Exactly what the comic was about. 

SHANTY TRAMP

Believe it or not, we found this classic at the video store. It turns out to be, unsurprisingly, a black and white drive-in feature from the mid-60's with zero production values. Nonetheless, I highly recommend it. If you ever see the soundtrack, snatch it up. A brief summary follows:

 At a revival meeting, a young black feller is eyeing Shanty Tramp, as is the preacherman (a snake oil salesman - he only wants to take these good people for their money!). The feller's ma warns him to stay away from dat shanty tramp. On the way back from the meeting, Shanty Tramp runs into her ol' drunk of a pa, but wants nothing to do with him. 

 She stops off at Tom's Til 2 a.m., a rough and tumble juke joint (which conveniently has the "Shanty Tramp" theme song on the jukebox). She dances with a boy, getting him all hot and bothered, but then the lamest biker gang ever depicted on the motion picture screen (one of them wears a sweater) shows up. Shanty Tramp goes to the back room with the leader of the pack.

 Meanwhile, drunky dad goes to the revival meeting and the black feller starts getting all filled with weird "feelins". Against his ma's wishes, he goes out into the night. He ends up at the bar, where the biker is gettin' rough with Shanty Tramp, rippin' her dress so as to expose her saggy boobs. Black feller beats up biker guy and takes Shanty Tramp home. The bikers go to the black feller's house and accidentally kill his ma, then flees town. 

 Shanty Tramp gets black feller so hot n' bothered, he screams "damn you friggin' shanty tramp!" and they commence to fuckin'. Dad gets so filled with religious feelin' at the revival meeting, he goes home to reconcile with his daughter and catches her in the act with the black devil. The black devil runs off and dad rounds up all the white folk in town to track him down. Then dad, realizing Shanty Tramp for the tramp she is, beats her with his belt and tries to have his way with her. 

 Black feller steals a car from some bootleggers who are buying some shine from ol Jebediah out at his shack in the woods, but crashes into a utility pole and the car blows up. Shanty Tramp stabs her dad to death, then runs off to catch up with the preacherman who is just leaving town with the revival tent. She leaves with him in his Winnebago and he vows to show her "the power and the glory."

 It's all true.

SOME ED WOOD DOCUMENTARY

 Tim and I saw the new Ed Wood doc last night. I've seen about five other Ed docs, so I'd seen most of the footage, but this one included what sounded like Ed's taped journal entries. Also Mona McKinnon saying that she was never approached for money on Bride of the Monster, going so far as to say that she was never told when production was stalled that it was due to lack of money. Also the reverend that financed Plan 9 saying that, far from insisting upon it, he was surprised to see that the title "Graverobbers from Outer Space" had been changed. Dolores Fuller was heartbreaking ("I didn't know that Eddie was having such a rough time. I would have helped him.", along with more of the "All of this acclaim-but too late" stuff). She was there in person as well. Looked real good. Kelton the Cop was also there ("Uh, uh... Ya-ya-ya.. um.. You all know me, uh (stammer), Kelton the, uh, Kelton the, the, uh, bumbling Kelton the cop! Bumbling ! Huh huh! My uh, uh, record is on sale in the uh, lobby, with a, uh, Criswell song on the back! Uh, duh.) The point of this movie was to "set the record straight" concerning misconceptions in the wake of the movie. Ed's sexual preference was driven into the ground, as if they thought the movie left his sexuality ambiguous. They made sure we know that Ed was "All Man."

SUPERMAN I&II

 Superman I & II - Only problem I had was that Superman 'forget everything' kiss. I also am sad that they didn't connect the two movies as originally planned. After Superman flew back in time, he was supposed to grab the nuke and send it into space and THAT blast was to be the event that freed the three evil superbeings. 

TANK GIRL
 
 

Tank Girl - Almost perfect adaptation. More plot in the movie then you see in the comic, though.

TRAINSPOTTING
 
 

This film was very good.

TRIGGER EFFECT, THE
 
 

Kyle M. was good.

TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS, THE
 
 

I saw the Cat and Dog movie. What a fresh and unpredictable piece of cinema! But that Janeane Garofalo, I'd just like to carry her around on my back for a week. That's just for starters, mind you. I'm not some kind of sicko.

TWISTER
 
 

Friends of mine took me to see Twister again, so I figure I'd work out the continuity problem we were debating and I find that there is no continuity problem, but I can see why one arose.

Here are the events as they occur.
 
 

After the destruction of DOROTHY II, the group is at the drive in. When they arrive at the drive in, DOROTHY III is already on the back of the truck. After the tornado hits, before they go to the destroyed town, Bill Paxton says "Put the last DOROTHY in the truck!" This wasn't to say there was one DOROTHY left, but that the DOROTHY IV should also go into the truck. 

Yes, both of them fit!

The only odd thing is that after both are in the truck, the DOROTHY IV is now closest to the cab (indicating they took III out and then put IV in rather than just put IV in)

With this being the case, many close up shots show IV rather than III (and if one had assumed there was only one in the truck, that could lead to further errors)

The little propellers are put on the sensors and Bill loads both DOROTHYS at the same time. DOROTHY III is put on the road, but the tree hits it and all the balls go spilling.

After almost getting hit by a Tanker Truck they 

Drive, with out stopping, to where they finally get IV into the tornado.

So, it turns out there wasn't a continuity screw up after all.

Well, hope that helped clear things up!


  Back to top

MOVIE TRAILERS

ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU, THE
 
 

Does anyone else think this "Island of Dr. Moreau" looks like the weirdest movie in ages? Me, I can't wait.

SWINGERS
 
 

>>...apparently the first Cocktail Culture movie is on its way...a little concotion called "Swingers..." On the hopeful side, it cost less to make than Brothers Macmullen. What odds does the Greek give on this being more entertaining than annoying?<<
 
 

I heard about this, and am not exactly salivating at the prospect. I'm picturing a lot of "lingo" and smarminess. Hey, I hope I'm wrong. God bless 'em.

TRIGGER EFFECT, THE
 
 

I'm surprised to hear this is good. The previews look like straight-to-video city. We were thinking that Kyle fella just refuses to get a career. But I'll take your word for it.

Back to top

RECORDS

BECK
 
 

Patti Smythe? From Scandal? I don't see why I should buy a record by her. But if you take my advice (which you won't) y'all will purchase the new album by Beck. Unless, of course, you have no interest in fun. Those of you (and you know who you are) who already hate Beck, well, I don't expect you to change your minds. But go to hell already.

GODZILLA SOUNDTRACKS
 
 

So, why didn't anyone tell me that I could just go into the Virgin Megastore and get the soundtrack to Godzilla vs. Monster Zero? Not only that, but there's a whole section of Godzilla soundtrack music. Some of them are 2 and 3 CD sets. The only way I knew which movie was which was from the pictures on the covers. I knew I had found Monster Zero, though, when I opened the case and there were six of those great moon-dwelling Japanese aliens with the wraparound sunglasses printed on the CD. I could listen to this stuff for hours! They even had Rodan and Gamera!

MONO PUFF

I am currently listening to the latest CD from the HELLO CD of the Month Club. It is the awesome solo effort from John Flansburgh. A band called MONO PUFF. Here are the titles...
 
 

1. Guitar Was the Case

2. Unsupervised, I Hit My Head

3. Don't Break the Heart

4. Distant Antenna

5. The Devil Went Down to Newport

6. What Bothers the Spaceman?

7. Hello Hello

8. Dr. Kildare

9. So Long, Mockingbird

10. Careless Santa

11. Don't I Have the Right?

12. To Serve Mankind

13. Nixon's the One
 
 

"Go Satan Go!" is the chorus of Devil Went Down to Newport, followed by "It was totally rockin'! It was totally rockin'!" What can I say? It's like They Might Be Giants without the accordion. Lots of weird synth noises. It is also some kind of concept album. I got a xeroxed note with the CD saying that the libretto would follow soon. It's at the printers. I guess the 50 bucks I spent to join the club was worth something.

REINHARDT, DJANGO
 
 

You should go out and buy some Django Reinhardt if you do not already have some. I suggest the Jazz Masters collection. It is right up your alley. Like Leon Redbone, but with just guitar. Plus you'll impress any yuppie jazz oriented chicks you may be trying to impress.

SMITH, PATTI
 
 

Do yourself a favor. Go out and buy the new Patti Smith album. You won't regret it. Spend the $8.00 to $13.00. Just do it. It's called "Gone Again." Really. You oughtta just do it.

Back to top

T.V.

FLASH, THE
 
 

The Flash - Not the best series on TV, but they did have a lot of cool guest stars and they were rather loyal to the Flash comic strip.

SEINFELD
 
 

I was trolling around in the Seinfeld newsgroup this evening, and it seems that response is overwhelmingly negative against the season finale. Most of America (at least those with Internet technology) seems to feel that they went too far, it was out of character and stupid, and that killing Susan was unforgivable. It makes me wonder if these people know what they've been watching all this time. Don't they understand that these characters are bitter, pathetic losers - just like us??? Apparently not.

 On a related note, I saw a rerun I had not seen before in which George thinks he's having a heart attack. In the course of this episode, he calls Jerry a "jerkoff." I am fairly certain I have never heard this word "jerkoff" on prime time television before. A groundbreaking Seinfeld moment I hadn't even know about.

SEINFELD
 
 

I don't care what all you "West Coast insider too-hip-for-TV" people think! The bizarro Seinfeld episode was absolute genius! One of my favorites ever! You can all suck Hitch's shriveled knobby cock!

Back to top

Last Revised: Saturday, May 29, 1999


HOME: