By and for chieves









If this is the first time you're seeing this, it's all new to you.

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Saw Combustible Edison on Friday night. I don't know, the thrill was gone, even though they were wearing cool silvery moon suits. The music was fine, but the club was hot and packed and there was no dance floor of any sort. This was the Electric Lounge, which is well behind enemy lines, so I guess I should have expected it.



Fuckin' KISS fuckin' ruled the Great Western Forum last night, and will continue to rule L.A. all weekend. What can I say? Our heads were blown clear off! Gene flew above the stage to the rafters and did some awesome "God of Thunder" song, after spewing blood during his bass solo. Ace's guitar went up in smoke from his hot licks, then drifted away like magic! Paul Stanley gave himself a spanking, captured in close-up on the diamond-vision screens. And Peter Criss melted our hearts with a lighter-inducing encore of "Beth." Other highlights: many metal-heads singing along to "Love Gun," lots of giant flames, bewildered six year old children in front of us (I think they were frightened), plus a bitchin' drum solo and cold frosty beer!




>...would you agree that KISS FUCKIN'



Sweet Christ! Indescribable! KISS are Gods!

Ya know, they comin' back to Iiiiirviiiiine in October! If you're going to be in the area, you should go! KISS is an experience you should have in your lifetime. It was the funnest show ever!



The Sex Pistols concert was much more low budget, as was expected. They were great, too. As soon as John Lydon came onstage he was pelted with a barrage of cups and crap. "Don't throw your fucking shit at me!" he yelled. "In case you haven't noticed over the years. I am not the enemy!" People still threw shit at him, though.


Now I don't need to go to another concert for a year and a half!



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2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY: One of these intertwining stories in L.A., kind of like Short Cuts, but without being good. James Spader was okay as a creepy villain. A lot of schtick - you know, Danny Aiello schtick, Eric Stoltz schtick, faggy British guy schtick. A decent catfight between Teri Hatcher and this blonde Viking chick. A completely pointless Jeff Daniels subplot.



AMERICAN BUFFALO - Never quite makes the jump from "play" to "movie", but the actors are good with the snappy Mamet dialogue, even though Dustin Hoffman is, of course, a bit too "Ratso".



Saw Barb Wire this afternoon. Not a line that wasn't a cliche, not a plot element that was believable, one-note performance by Pammy... I loved it! The title sequence was the best, so don't be late when you see it. Pammy rules.

The real problem with Barb Wire was that Pamela Anderson seems like such a nice, sweet, dumb girl that you just can't believe she's capable of the emotions she's supposed to be depicting. When she gives her no-nonsense, tough, cold-hearted bitch steely stare, you wanna give her a hug and say "Good job, Pamela!" since you know she'd been practicing in the mirror in her dressing room for a half hour before the take.



Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - Easier to do a Superhero movie when it's animated! I love the animated Batman because it uses stuff from every Batman and creates this unique mixed-technology time period.



The Big Italian Meal is, as it turns out, an exceptionally delightful movie. I give it my highest recommendation. It will make you feel good, and also make you feel like having a big Italian meal. Perhaps with lots of cheese.



How come those guys at the L.A. Weekly gave this flick a bad review?



Brain Candy - an amusing, albeit not hilarious, film.



Worst comic adaptation: Captain America (Stinker!)



10% goofy.

The other 90 was pretty good, but I thought at times Denzel was trying to do a Nik Cage Leaving Las Vegas type thing with his rather contrived alcohol abuse.






This movie is about a white basket case (played by Robert De Niro) who isn't very good at selling knives and takes it out on a black baseball player (played by Wesley Snipes) by giving him a bunch of shit. De Niro's performance is a rehash of other De Niro performances and indicates De Niro is continuing his slump of hardly original performances. I suggest kidnapping De Niro's daughter and holding her hostage until De Niro gets nominated for another Oscar.



This movie is the biggest piece of shit of the summer so far.



I disagree.

I thought the movie was an entertaining romp. It was lightweight, certainly, but just fun and much better than TWISTER or INDEPENDENCE DAY (one of my picks for worst movie of the year).



I can see we have a mixed consensus here. But I do have to tell you that I found the frightening stuff on the bottom of my shoe in the theatre more interesting than that movie.



Me, I didn't think it was so bad, The Frightenings. Not frightening, certainly, but it had some of the goofy entertainment and also the ghosties as mentioned.



The Youths On Heroin Who See The Trains Movie hasn't opened here yet. We saw the French flim about the disenfranchised youth called Hate (not to be confused with the comic book about the disenfranchised youth), and that I didn't care so much for. I'm guessing/hoping the Heroin Spotting Train Movie will be better.



Val Kilmer plays Marlon Brando, a big fat man who lives on an island in the middle of nowhere and has a bunch of fucked-up children. There's this little weird guy. Kind of a mess as far as story goes, but a good kind of mess. Plenty of bizarre stuff to look at.



Saw the film in question this afternoon. What a hoot! People were guffawing at those shots of Brando from behind. What's the deal with the funny little man? He sure was little. My favorite part was when he and big fat Marlon were playing the pianos.



James and the Giant Cooch - a delightful, albeit short, movie.



Y'all can miss this one. There's just nothing going on. In addition to a funny voice, this time Jennifer Jason Leigh has funny teeth. Harry Belafonte gives endless monologues about life in his raspy voice. Lots of jazz filler. Better than Pret-a-Porter, I guess, but not one of Mr. Altman's finer works.


- Cap'n Crankypants



LAST MAN STANDING: I yawned many, many times. Endless shootouts. Exactly like the trailer but much much longer. Bruce Willis voice-over narration. Walter Hill "hardboiled" dialogue. Hats.



You probably weren't, but don't see The Last Supper. It is schwiggedy-schwag.



So you should see this movie The Low Life if you should get the opportunity, as it is one of the most excellent Gen X movies, both hilarious and harrowing. But I should warn you of one scene that may cause consternation. Rory Cochrane moves to L.A. and gets a crappy temp job, and his supervisor patiently explains how to separate the carbon copies from the credit card slips ("You see?...We put these in this pile you try"). Well, it's not quite that verbatim, but did cause a little shiver in me. On the other hand, no one in the movie turns into a woman or oozes any black goo.



Man, I love that movie... Did you know that the blond-haired, blue-eyed American lead, Nick Adams, killed himself after that movie figuring it was the end of his career? Damn...he GOT the new wave alien babe. What more do you want?



If you went to see that Hat movie, you should have been forced to pay sixteen dollars, at least. Well, wait a minute. That has Jennifer Connally, right? Okay, you're absolved. But four fat guys in hats throwing people off cliffs...that's no way to expend celluloid.



I never feel like I get my point across.

I just wanted to say that when I see a movie, I simply judge it by the genre it is in. If I get what I want out of that genre, then I'll enjoy it. (That actually applies to most entertainment...comic books, tv, etc.)

That is also why I'll be very forgiving with a movie like The Phantom and then get very critical on something else, even if it was a better movie. Some scenes are passable in one kind of movie and unforgivable in another kind of movie.

I am also harsh on sequels because I like continuity. If you say so and so did this, it MUST hold true in the sequel or have a very convincing reason why it changed.

I love the genre of 30's pulp action heroes and when I see a movie with them, I want them to do what I expect

Did you notice the Phantom only killed two people in that whole movie? He shot the weapons out of the hands of everyone else or knocked them unconscious.

If I went to see a movie based on a modern hero, though, I would not hold that hero to the 30's mentality nor would I judge it against such a mentality because 30's Superheroes and Modern Superheroes are two different genres.

Well, I don't know if I needed to write this, but I feel better writing it because I feel I got the last few bits of that conversation out (and it just would have gnawed at me if I didn't say it)



Worst comic adaptation: Captain America (Stinker!)

Runner up: The Punisher (Didn't even give him the costume)



Rocketeer - Couldn't be better. Exactly what the comic was about.


Believe it or not, we found this classic at the video store. It turns out to be, unsurprisingly, a black and white drive-in feature from the mid-60's with zero production values. Nonetheless, I highly recommend it. If you ever see the soundtrack, snatch it up. A brief summary follows:

 At a revival meeting, a young black feller is eyeing Shanty Tramp, as is the preacherman (a snake oil salesman - he only wants to take these good people for their money!). The feller's ma warns him to stay away from dat shanty tramp. On the way back from the meeting, Shanty Tramp runs into her ol' drunk of a pa, but wants nothing to do with him.

 She stops off at Tom's Til 2 a.m., a rough and tumble juke joint (which conveniently has the "Shanty Tramp" theme song on the jukebox). She dances with a boy, getting him all hot and bothered, but then the lamest biker gang ever depicted on the motion picture screen (one of them wears a sweater) shows up. Shanty Tramp goes to the back room with the leader of the pack.

 Meanwhile, drunky dad goes to the revival meeting and the black feller starts getting all filled with weird "feelins". Against his ma's wishes, he goes out into the night. He ends up at the bar, where the biker is gettin' rough with Shanty Tramp, rippin' her dress so as to expose her saggy boobs. Black feller beats up biker guy and takes Shanty Tramp home. The bikers go to the black feller's house and accidentally kill his ma, then flees town.

 Shanty Tramp gets black feller so hot n' bothered, he screams "damn you friggin' shanty tramp!" and they commence to fuckin'. Dad gets so filled with religious feelin' at the revival meeting, he goes home to reconcile with his daughter and catches her in the act with the black devil. The black devil runs off and dad rounds up all the white folk in town to track him down. Then dad, realizing Shanty Tramp for the tramp she is, beats her with his belt and tries to have his way with her.

 Black feller steals a car from some bootleggers who are buying some shine from ol Jebediah out at his shack in the woods, but crashes into a utility pole and the car blows up. Shanty Tramp stabs her dad to death, then runs off to catch up with the preacherman who is just leaving town with the revival tent. She leaves with him in his Winnebago and he vows to show her "the power and the glory."

 It's all true.


 Tim and I saw the new Ed Wood doc last night. I've seen about five other Ed docs, so I'd seen most of the footage, but this one included what sounded like Ed's taped journal entries. Also Mona McKinnon saying that she was never approached for money on Bride of the Monster, going so far as to say that she was never told when production was stalled that it was due to lack of money. Also the reverend that financed Plan 9 saying that, far from insisting upon it, he was surprised to see that the title "Graverobbers from Outer Space" had been changed. Dolores Fuller was heartbreaking ("I didn't know that Eddie was having such a rough time. I would have helped him.", along with more of the "All of this acclaim-but too late" stuff). She was there in person as well. Looked real good. Kelton the Cop was also there ("Uh, uh... Ya-ya-ya.. um.. You all know me, uh (stammer), Kelton the, uh, Kelton the, the, uh, bumbling Kelton the cop! Bumbling ! Huh huh! My uh, uh, record is on sale in the uh, lobby, with a, uh, Criswell song on the back! Uh, duh.) The point of this movie was to "set the record straight" concerning misconceptions in the wake of the movie. Ed's sexual preference was driven into the ground, as if they thought the movie left his sexuality ambiguous. They made sure we know that Ed was "All Man."


 Superman I & II - Only problem I had was that Superman 'forget everything' kiss. I also am sad that they didn't connect the two movies as originally planned. After Superman flew back in time, he was supposed to grab the nuke and send it into space and THAT blast was to be the event that freed the three evil superbeings.



Tank Girl - Almost perfect adaptation. More plot in the movie then you see in the comic, though.



This film was very good.



Kyle M. was good.



I saw the Cat and Dog movie. What a fresh and unpredictable piece of cinema! But that Janeane Garofalo, I'd just like to carry her around on my back for a week. That's just for starters, mind you. I'm not some kind of sicko.



Friends of mine took me to see Twister again, so I figure I'd work out the continuity problem we were debating and I find that there is no continuity problem, but I can see why one arose.

Here are the events as they occur.


After the destruction of DOROTHY II, the group is at the drive in. When they arrive at the drive in, DOROTHY III is already on the back of the truck. After the tornado hits, before they go to the destroyed town, Bill Paxton says "Put the last DOROTHY in the truck!" This wasn't to say there was one DOROTHY left, but that the DOROTHY IV should also go into the truck.

Yes, both of them fit!

The only odd thing is that after both are in the truck, the DOROTHY IV is now closest to the cab (indicating they took III out and then put IV in rather than just put IV in)

With this being the case, many close up shots show IV rather than III (and if one had assumed there was only one in the truck, that could lead to further errors)

The little propellers are put on the sensors and Bill loads both DOROTHYS at the same time. DOROTHY III is put on the road, but the tree hits it and all the balls go spilling.

After almost getting hit by a Tanker Truck they

Drive, with out stopping, to where they finally get IV into the tornado.

So, it turns out there wasn't a continuity screw up after all.

Well, hope that helped clear things up!


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Does anyone else think this "Island of Dr. Moreau" looks like the weirdest movie in ages? Me, I can't wait.



>>...apparently the first Cocktail Culture movie is on its way...a little concotion called "Swingers..." On the hopeful side, it cost less to make than Brothers Macmullen. What odds does the Greek give on this being more entertaining than annoying?<<


I heard about this, and am not exactly salivating at the prospect. I'm picturing a lot of "lingo" and smarminess. Hey, I hope I'm wrong. God bless 'em.



I'm surprised to hear this is good. The previews look like straight-to-video city. We were thinking that Kyle fella just refuses to get a career. But I'll take your word for it.

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Patti Smythe? From Scandal? I don't see why I should buy a record by her. But if you take my advice (which you won't) y'all will purchase the new album by Beck. Unless, of course, you have no interest in fun. Those of you (and you know who you are) who already hate Beck, well, I don't expect you to change your minds. But go to hell already.



So, why didn't anyone tell me that I could just go into the Virgin Megastore and get the soundtrack to Godzilla vs. Monster Zero? Not only that, but there's a whole section of Godzilla soundtrack music. Some of them are 2 and 3 CD sets. The only way I knew which movie was which was from the pictures on the covers. I knew I had found Monster Zero, though, when I opened the case and there were six of those great moon-dwelling Japanese aliens with the wraparound sunglasses printed on the CD. I could listen to this stuff for hours! They even had Rodan and Gamera!


I am currently listening to the latest CD from the HELLO CD of the Month Club. It is the awesome solo effort from John Flansburgh. A band called MONO PUFF. Here are the titles...


1. Guitar Was the Case

2. Unsupervised, I Hit My Head

3. Don't Break the Heart

4. Distant Antenna

5. The Devil Went Down to Newport

6. What Bothers the Spaceman?

7. Hello Hello

8. Dr. Kildare

9. So Long, Mockingbird

10. Careless Santa

11. Don't I Have the Right?

12. To Serve Mankind

13. Nixon's the One


"Go Satan Go!" is the chorus of Devil Went Down to Newport, followed by "It was totally rockin'! It was totally rockin'!" What can I say? It's like They Might Be Giants without the accordion. Lots of weird synth noises. It is also some kind of concept album. I got a xeroxed note with the CD saying that the libretto would follow soon. It's at the printers. I guess the 50 bucks I spent to join the club was worth something.



You should go out and buy some Django Reinhardt if you do not already have some. I suggest the Jazz Masters collection. It is right up your alley. Like Leon Redbone, but with just guitar. Plus you'll impress any yuppie jazz oriented chicks you may be trying to impress.



Do yourself a favor. Go out and buy the new Patti Smith album. You won't regret it. Spend the $8.00 to $13.00. Just do it. It's called "Gone Again." Really. You oughtta just do it.

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The Flash - Not the best series on TV, but they did have a lot of cool guest stars and they were rather loyal to the Flash comic strip.



I was trolling around in the Seinfeld newsgroup this evening, and it seems that response is overwhelmingly negative against the season finale. Most of America (at least those with Internet technology) seems to feel that they went too far, it was out of character and stupid, and that killing Susan was unforgivable. It makes me wonder if these people know what they've been watching all this time. Don't they understand that these characters are bitter, pathetic losers - just like us??? Apparently not.

 On a related note, I saw a rerun I had not seen before in which George thinks he's having a heart attack. In the course of this episode, he calls Jerry a "jerkoff." I am fairly certain I have never heard this word "jerkoff" on prime time television before. A groundbreaking Seinfeld moment I hadn't even know about.



I don't care what all you "West Coast insider too-hip-for-TV" people think! The bizarro Seinfeld episode was absolute genius! One of my favorites ever! You can all suck Hitch's shriveled knobby cock!

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Last Revised: Saturday, May 29, 1999