8:25 P.M.

The funky strains of "Soul Bossa Nova" by Quincy Jones drift up the stairs from the ballroom.

You stand still in the middle of the upstairs hall, doing nothing.

The Indian Chief walks over to the door north of the bathroom on the west side of the hall (#9) and peers in. As soon as he opens the door, you hear a recording of Chip's voice saying, "STAY OUT OF MY ROOM! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."

The Sexy Vampire stares curiously at the Fairie Queen.

The Sheik says, "I heard a crash...Somebody screamed?"

The Fairie Queen says, "Oh, that was me...I thought I saw someone in the trees outside Smythe's bathroom...Uncle Jack, could you go outside and take a look?"

"Sure, princess," the Sheik says. He walks over to the elevator, just as the Viking arrives on the floor, seeming a little surprised to see so many people in the hall.

The Viking looks you up and down, then walks over to Bernadette's room (door # 10). He knocks and steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as the Sheik descends in the elevator, Blofeld slips into his room (door #7).

The Fairie Queen turns to the Sexy Vampire coolly and says, "What were you doing in my bedroom?"

The Sexy Vampire smiles sweetly and says, "I was just looking for the bathroom."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd use that bathroom," the Fairie Queen says, indicating the bathroom at the top of the stairs, then turns to point towards the room she emerged from. "Or Smythe's...rather than the one in my bedroom."

"Of course, dear," the Sexy Vampire replies, catty, as she squeezes by her and disappears through the door by the laundry chute (#2), which is apparently Smythe's bathroom.

Just then, a Pirate comes running up the stairs, wild-eyed. He stops when he sees all the people, then shouts, "What's going on? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

Then he breaks into a cold sweat and starts clawing at his skin in a panic. The Fairie Queen hurries over to him, concerned, and says, "Honey, what's wrong?"

The Pirate stares at her, bug-eyed, and says, "Who are you?"

The Fairie Queen is taken aback and says, "I'm your wife!"

The Pirate stares dumbly at her, then gasps, "Smythe!" and runs towards Smythe's bathroom.

You recognize the Pirate as Chip's father, conservative radio talk show host Mike Wellman.

If you continue to stand and observe, click here.

Click here to switch to Brother Puris.

Click here to switch to Brother Sputum.
 
 

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