"Absolute Beginners" by David Bowie can be heard playing from the ballroom.

You stand in the downstairs hall, doing nothing. Chip says, "Come on!", then grabs you and pulls you into the iron cage elevator and presses "two."

The second floor slowly comes into view as you ascend: at the south end of a long hall, you see Brother Foooz at the top of a long staircase leading up from the first floor.

The south wall has a large window in it, which overlooks the driveway. The north wall contains two doors (#1 and #2) and a laundry chute. Door #2 is hanging open, revealing a bathroom.

The east wall contains three doors (#3, #4 and #5). A beautiful redhead in fishnet stockings and a breastplate (Red Sonja) disappears through door #3. Door # 5 is a glass door leading to a balcony overlooking the ballroom.

The west wall contains six doors (#6, #7, #8, #9, #10 and #11). Door #8 is hanging open, revealing another bathroom.

In the middle of the hall, Governor Asher and his bodyguard are watching, stunned as the Fairie Queen and the Sexy Vampire wrestle with a wild-eyed Mike Wellman, who seems to be out of his mind.

The Fairie Queen screams, "Mike! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Wellman knocks her down and grabs Chip, bellowing, "CHIP! HELP ME!"

"Take it easy!" Chip yells, trying to pull away, clearly unnerved.

"SHE'S NOT MY WIFE! TERRIBLE THINGS ARE HAPPENING! HELP ME!" Mike yells, shaking him.

Just then, a gun is shaken loose from Chip's waistband. It falls to the ground and goes off. The bullet hits Asher's bodyguard, who grabs his bloody crotch and tumbles backwards down the stairs, shrieking horribly.

If you're just too stunned to move, click here.

Click here to switch to Brother Foooz.

Click here to switch to Red Sonja (Avengelyne).