"Absolute Beginners" by David Bowie can be heard playing from the ballroom.

Your mind is in a muddle from too much beer. You seem to remember that you're supposed to meet Amanda somewhere at nine, where you're supposed to get a picture of Governor Asher doing something bad...but were you supposed to get a camera or just follow him?

Then it all comes back to you: Amanda apparently has the camera thing arranged, and your job is simply to make sure that the governor is at the pool house by nine. Fairly certain that you've got things straight in your frazzled brain, you head up stairs in pursuit of Asher.

At the top of the stairs, you  see a long, ornate hall, lined with doors. The glass doors on your immediate right (Door  5) seem to lead to a balcony overlooking the ballroom. North of the balcony door are two other doors on the east side of the hall (Doors 3 and 4) .

The door on your immediate left (Door 8) is hanging open, revealing a large bathroom. North of the bathroom door are three doors (Doors 9, 10 and 11) lining the west side of the hall. Directly in front of you, in the middle of the hall, is an elevator. Beyond that, at the far north end of the hall, you see two doors (Doors 1 and 2) and a laundry chute. Door #2 is hanging open revealing a second bathroom.

Behind you, the hall continues south for a few yards. South of the bathroom door, on the west side of the hall, are two more doors (Doors 6 and 7). A large window at the south end of the hall overlooks the driveway.

A statuesque redhead in fishnet stockings and a breastplate (Red Sonja) disappears through door # 3 just as the elevator arrives, disgorging Brother Doofus and Chip.

In the middle of the hall, Governor Asher and his bodyguard are watching, stunned as the Fairie Queen and the Sexy Vampire wrestle with a wild-eyed Mike Wellman, who seems to be out of his mind.

The Fairie Queen screams, "Mike! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Wellman knocks her down and grabs Chip, bellowing, "CHIP! HELP ME!"

"Take it easy!" Chip yells, trying to pull away, clearly unnerved.

"SHE'S NOT MY WIFE! TERRIBLE THINGS ARE HAPPENING! HELP ME!" Mike yells, shaking him.

Just then, a gun is shaken loose from Chip's waistband. It falls to the ground and goes off. The bullet hits Asher's bodyguard, who grabs his bloody crotch and tumbles backwards down the stairs, shrieking horribly.

If you step through door #3, keeping an eye on the action in the upstairs hall, click here.

Click here to switch to Brother Doofus.

Click here to switch to Red Sonja (Avengelyne).