9:10 P.M.

Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" from the most excellent "Trainspotting" soundtrack booms from the ballroom.

In the laundry room, Brother Sputum jumps to his feet and yells, "All right you clowns! What de fuck am going on here?"

Beside him, Brother Doofus (who looks like he is suffering from really bad heartburn) rises and says, "Chip...what happened?"

You take the bottle from your pocket and gulp it down, hoping it's booze, then you grab Chip and wrestle him to the ground. You plead to your two frat brothers and say, "Help me hold Chip! Somebody better tell me what happened up there! This place is fucked, and we're all going to be fucked if we don't figure out what the fuck is going on!"

Suddenly, the contents of the bottle hit you and all your muscles relax. You begin to feel very happy. The colors in the room become very vibrant. Chip turns into a giant fuzzy caterpillar and pins you to the ground, then screams, "Guys! Help!"

Just then, the Sheik bursts in through a door in the east wall and gasps, "What the hell is going on?"

Chip, still pinning you down, says, "My friend has gone crazy! I think he killed somebody!"

The Sheik opens the incinerator door and peers down into the furnace, then pulls out a rubber chicken and points it at you. "I think there's a body burning in the incinerator..."

The Sheik glances over at Brothers Doofus and Sputum and says, "Help Chip hold him down. I'm going to go check it out."

If you struggle away from Chip and run for it, pleading your case to Doofus and Sputum, click here.

Click here to switch to Brother Doofus.

Click here to switch to Brother Sputum.