9:25 P.M.

From the ballroom, you hear the supergroovy new Lyle Lovett song, "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)."

You look at the manilla envelope on top of the VCR. It is addressed to Jack Marston, Ashcroft Manor. Where the return address should be is a drawing of an Ear.

A neatly-typed letter is hanging out of the envelope. It says, "Just a reminder. Wellman stays out of politics or I go to the media with my videotape collection. ALL of my videotapes." At the bottom of the page is the Ear logo.

You eject the tape that is in the VCR and put in the tape that was sitting on top of the machine. You rewind to the beginning and hit play. A moaning, writhing mass of naked bodies appears on the t.v. screen. After a moment, you recognize the Sexy Vampire, licking a rose tattoo on a sexy thigh which seems to belong to Chip's mother, Veronica, who is simultaneously giving oral pleasure to her husband, Mike Wellman.

When the tape ends, you replace it with the second videotape and hit play. This time, you see Mike Wellman clad only in a diaper, wearing a dog collar, kneeling at the feet of the Sexy Vampire, who is now clad in leather dominatrix gear with her private parts exposed. She swats Wellman with a riding crop and says, "You love me more than your whore bitch wife, don't you, slave?"

"Yes, Mistress," Wellman grovels.

"Then tell her you'll leave her unless she comes back to us."

Wellman's eyes grow wide and terrified, "No...please...if she knew we were still involved, it would kill her!"

"Quiet!" the Sexy Vampire screams, beating him mercilessly with her riding crop. "How dare you disobey!"

"She doesn't love you, Alicia!" Wellman whimpers, tears in his eyes. "Nothing you do is going to change that!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING WORM!" Alicia, the sexy vampire, screams, beating and kicking Wellman until he slumps over, dazed.

Suddenly, she calms down and starts stroking Wellman's hair. "Oh, my poor little baby," she coos, pulling off his diaper. "Mommy lost her temper. Mommy's sorry she hurt you. Here, let me make you feel better."

If you head back out into the hall, click here.

If you're feeling frisky after watching the videotapes and need a little romantic time with yourself, followed by a quick nap, click here.